Lynne Podrat | Updates

The Reluctant Author

Lynne Podrat — Thu, 10 Oct 2024 15:06:19 -0400

I hadn’t gone looking to write a book. And although I love to write, especially poetry, and editorial responses of educational articles, writing can be arduous and was never cathartic for me. I would rather take pictures. My dream was to be a veterinarian, to heal, support positive training, and be the voice for those who spoke a different language. God had that same plan, albeit a very different path.

Life can be messy. It can flip your world upside down in an instant and force you into situations that could ultimately break you if you let them. My family experienced one such life altering event when my little brother, Bruce, was born. He wasn’t like David, my other brother, or me. You see, Bruce had down syndrome. While our parents struggled to come to terms with what this meant for their future and the challenges they would now

have to face, David and I saw our newest sibling for who he was – a special, wonderful gift. I was an immediate advocate fighting to keep him from being given away and then for inclusion despite inconveniences

or discomfort for those, speaking a misunderstood language. After sending my brother to live in a KenCrest Group Home, he slowly began to became an afterthought for my parents, and I didn’t want that to be the case with the rest of my family. He was involved in David and my life and we in his, and he was just as committed to us as we were to him. We all flourished alongside him, and I wanted to honor him and his story.

My plan to include Bruce with others was to open his world. We accomplished so much more, my baby brother and I. We opened theirs.

Living only a forty- minute drive from Bruce’s group home allowed for Sunday visits and family dinners with my daughter, husband and me, phone calls with his nieces living in Florida and France, and holiday visits with my son’s family when they visited from Florida. However, what I feared most, his becoming an afterthought, happened after my move to Florida. No one made time to see him, I was no longer there, the voice with whom to reckon.

Now with his death, I was more determined than ever to keep my brother’s memory alive so my children, grandchildren, nieces, and close friends who knew of him, but never met him would remember Brucie. Vail, Colorado, my home during the summer months was my refuge when Bruce was diagnosed with cancer, COVID preventing any visits to the hospital but guardianship offered constant communication with doctors and hospital staff. Nothing got done without my approval, constant support from the nurse and personal advocate from KenCrest readily available. I hiked those trails with a vengeance, miles of climbing, listening to The Killers, dancing with the forest nymphs, crying and reliving our life together. My Inspirational Moment took hold and I was driven to write this memoir about my life with my very special brother, filled with these stories from my memories and those closest to Bruce. That is when I also realized so many who had loved and cared for him, his KenCrest family, and now mourned his loss as well would have a way to share him, read about him, and hear his voice within these stories. The challenge, how to write a memoir that told the story in the most positive light while sharing painful experiences, the good, bad and ugly and not sounding resentful or bitter. Of course, there were angry moments and not sharing those would be dishonest, especially at my age of thirteen, reliving the beginning and feeling guilty having left David for college. Our parents were gone so I was not burdened with the fear of hurting them.

“Listen to Me” was Bruce’s mantra to be heard and understood as individuals with down syndrome struggle with an enlarged tongue preventing many words to be pronounced correctly. The subtitle, ‘How My Down Syndrome Brother Saved My Life’ is in reference to the voice and passion I developed throughout my life because of Bruce. It was because of the continuous need to advocate for my brother when I was younger, I eventually learned to have a voice and advocate for myself. As an adult, I had passion and a drive to make Bruce feel as normal as he could, and through that I learned patience which ultimately led me to become a teacher, coach and Administrator with the School district of Philadelphia. I don’t know what kind of life I could have had if Bruce had been born normal, perhaps I would have become a veterinarian, but I doubt it would have been as purposeful as it turned out to be.

For more than fifty- three years, Bruce lived a life full of love, laughter, community, but also pain and hardship as he battled kidney disease and pancreatic cancer. He fought his diagnosis with a smile on his face, but ultimately, cancer won. I never meant to tell this story, to share the beginning of Bruce’s and my journey. My family knew the middle and, of course the end, but not what created the drive, the fire they admired to ensure his inclusion and my guardianship. But, sometimes something or someone touches your heart, your deepest soul, and you just know their story needs to be told. The angst of not telling outweighed everything else. For those who have lived with, loved, and lost handicapped siblings and family members, I share your pain and revel in your joys. This is that story.

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MILESTONE FOR THE FAMILY

Lynne Podrat — Fri, 16 May 2025 00:00:00 +0000

May 3, 2025, my oldest grandaughter became a Bat Mitzvah, when a Jewish girl turns 13 and becomes a "women" expected to now honor all Jewish Law. What a special time for our family. My two nieces, one in Alabama and the other in France, and their families along with my daughter, in California and her boyfriend attended this occasion. I could not be prouder.

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AUTHOR CHAT WITH NATIONAL COUNCIL OF JEWISH WOMEN

Lynne Podrat — Fri, 16 May 2025 00:00:00 +0000

What a lovely time spent with these brilliant and empathitic women discussing my memoir Listen To Me; How My Down Syndrome Brother Saved My Life. Their questions and openess were inspiring

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Podcast with Godsave David

Lynne Podrat — Fri, 15 Sep 2023 00:00:00 +0000

https://youtu.be/ZDarqfid4NY

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Interview with Lynne and Bee

Lynne Podrat — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 00:00:00 +0000

Bookpleasures.com welcomes as our guest Lynne Podrat whose recent memoir, ‘Listen To Me: How My Down Syndrome Brother Saved My Life’, is out now.

Lynne Podrat graduated from the Pennsylvania State University and then spent fifteen years in the Fashion Industry as an Assistant Buyer and Department Manager with Bloomingdales Department Store before returning to school to receive her educational degrees from Arcadia University and Gynedd Mercy.

A retired educator and Administrator from the Philadelphia, Pennsylvania School District, she taught English, literature, composition and history in elementary and secondary schools.

She has secretly been a writer and poet her whole life, but has only recently chosen to share those talents with the world. Lynne now lives with her husband in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, spending winters dragon boating where her heart races and summers hiking the Rockies in Vail, Colorado where her heart sings.

Bee: Tell us about your cover. Did you design it yourself?

Lynne: Hi Bee, thank you for hosting me.

I knew the flower would be included on the cover as it was what my brother had chosen for his funeral. My team at Social Books Agency had me research colors, pictures lettering and fonts of other memoirs and autobiographies so my choices of color scheme, matching the flower, font and lettering were solid prior to even formatting the book. I also wanted a picture of children on my cover, but none resonated for me and I almost changed my mind. Pure luck had me finding old pictures when we were young that had been stuck in photo albums I had taken from my mother’s apartment after her passing. I hadn’t looked at these albums and thought, perhaps, something would catch my fancy. There we were, in black and white, at the beginning of our journey together. With more help from my team, shading was added to blend with the flower, white instead of beige to accent the blues and blue lettering instead of black for softer blend of color.

Bee: How much time and effort went into your research for the book?

Lynne: Research in writing a memoir is different than writing historical fiction, an autobiography, or a historical account. So, I would like to answer this is a more unique fashion for your readers, if you don’t mind. Much research had already been done when Bruce was diagnosed with kidney disease and put on dialysis many years ago with negative consequences on his longevity already apparent.

I wrote Listen to Me initially as diary entries filled with special memories speaking into my phone while hiking the trails of Vail, Colorado, crying, dealing with my brother’s diagnoses of pancreatic cancer. We live in Vail for the summers, June through October. At home, I wrote those phone thoughts into a notebook. The months of July, August, September and October were spent speaking, face-timing and zooming with doctors to understand the surgery necessary to confirm this diagnosis, why surgery and chemotherapy were not options, and hospice care. Included with communicating with doctors were family, his group home personal one- on- one and nurse as his group home insisted upon having him “home” for hospice. We traveled from Colorado to Philadelphia twice in order to visit Bruce, make funeral arrangements and prepare the group home. November, we returned to Florida, making our third and final journey to Philadelphia spending the weekend in the hospital with him, holding his hand as he passed, finalizing funeral plans and organizing the Jewish tradition of shiva in his group home. I leave the computation of hours and effort in those five months to your audience.

Bee: How long did it take you to complete?

Lynne: From actually sitting down to create the manuscript from my written notes to the launch date, 11 months

Bee: Do you have any advice for families caring for a child or adult with down syndrome?

Lynne: Great question. As with any special needs child, never be afraid to ask for help, never be embarrassed or ashamed, always Listen. There are four national Down syndrome organizations in the United States: Global Down Syndrome Foundation, National Down Syndrome Congress, National Down Syndrome Society, and Down Syndrome Affiliates in Action.

Bee: I know your parents struggled with the decision to keep Bruce at home rather than send him to the state-run institution. Can you tell us more how your grandparents and yourself helped them make the decision to keep him at home? If this is too personal, I completely understand!

Lynne: Bee, Thank you for your kind consideration. Once my parents told me about the institution decision, I did immediate research, shared the pictures in the encyclopedia and threatened to run away with my other brother, David unless Bruce was brought home. Then I called my Bubbie Reba to tell her were coming.

She rallied the troops. My grandparents were wonderful, offering care support with an organized schedule. My maternal grandfather, Zadie Baizer, came three days per week, traveling by two buses early in the morning, changing diapers, walking the carriage, sitting outside with my brother while listening to his beloved Phillies (baseball) on the radio, not leaving until someone else was home to help my mother. Keep in mind, my grandfather now 70, had never changed a diaper before or been alone with a baby. My paternal grandmother, Bubbie Vera, who raised me as a young child, came the other two days. As three buses were necessary for her trip, quite taxing, my father drove her home in the evenings. Each couple rotated weekends with us, or we traveled to them.

Bee: What is your favorite scene in the book? Why?

Lynne: This is not easy, as I have a few. My favorite scene is watching Bruce and my mother talking about my father while she was recuperating in the hospital after hip surgery. I have included a snip it of their conversation,

“Mom, listen to me. Dad, he was your husband, right?” “Yes, Bruce he was my husband.”

“And you loved him very, much right?”

“Yes, I loved him very much.”

“Why don’t you tell me about him, you’ll feel better.”

I found this so endearing my eyes filled with tears. Such pure simplicity of thought and feeling. This man with the mind of a child, really, and a heart of gold trying to make his mother feel better about Dad while in the hospital.

Bee: It seems like you wrote ‘Listen To Me’ with a message to share. What is that message?

Lynne: Thank you for asking this. Yes, those with special needs have so much to offer. They should neither be ignored, looked down upon, nor be a forgotten memory. All we need do, is Listen!!!

Bee: Thanks again and good luck with ‘Listen To Me’!

Thank you, Bee, for these insightful questions and the opportunity to participate. It has been my pleasure

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Excerpts taken from the article written by Chris Moreton Founder of Behind The Vision Website: Behindthevision.com

Lynne Podrat — Wed, 11 Aug 2021 00:00:00 +0000

Life can be messy. It can flip your world upside down in an instant and force you into situations that could ultimately break you if you let them. Lynne Podrat and her family experienced one such life altering event when her little brother, Bruce, was born. He wasn’t like Lynne and her other brother, David. You see, Bruce had down syndrome. While her parents struggled to come to terms with what this meant for their future and the challenges they would now have to face, Lynne and David saw their newest sibling for what he was – a special, wonderful gift.

For more than fifty years, Bruce lived a life full of love, laughter, community, but also pain and hardship as he battled with disease after disease. He fought his diagnosis with a smile on his face, but eventually he left to be with his parents in Heaven.

Determined to keep her brother’s memory alive so that her children and grandchildren would remember their Uncle Brucie, Lynne wrote a beautiful memoir about her life with her special brother, full of her memories and the memories of her family and those closest to Bruce.

“He became an afterthought for my parents, and I didn’t want that to be the case with the rest of my family. He was involved in our lives and we in his, and he was just as committed to us as we were to him. We all flourished alongside him, and I wanted to honor him and his story.”

Q: What is the significance of the title?

A: “‘Listen to me’ was one of Bruce’s signature phrases. People with down syndrome have larger tongues so sometimes it’s hard to understand what they’re saying. He got into the habit of saying ‘listen to me’ repeatedly because sometimes we struggled to understand him, and he would say that to make sure we were listening to him carefully. It got to the point where he would say it even if we hadn’t asked him to repeat himself.

The subtitle, ‘How My Down Syndrome Brother Saved My Life’ is in reference to the voice and passion I developed throughout my life because of Bruce. It was because I was so used to having a loud voice in honor of advocating for my brother when I was younger that I eventually learned to have a voice and advocate for myself, which helped me get through all the hardship my parents put on me. As an adult, I had passion and a drive to make Bruce feel as normal as he could, and through that I learned patience which ultimately led me to become a teacher. I don’t know what kind of life I could have had if Bruce had been born normal, perhaps I would have become a veterinarian, but I doubt it would have been as purposeful as it turned out to be.”

Q: Have you ever written something as substantial as this before?

A: “This was my first time doing something like this. The only book I’d written prior to this was a children’s book that I wrote during my maternity leave with my first child. I forgot about it because life got busy and distracting, and then one day while packing up our house I found it again. I ended up losing it at some point after the move, so I essentially re-wrote the whole thing, but I ended up quitting before I finished because I was struggling to find an illustrator, and then Bruce got sick, and life’s distractions kicked in again. Other than the children’s book, I write poetry every now and then. Usually about whatever comes to mind when I’m in the mood, like things I have opinions about or am passionate about. Never because I need to get something off my chest. Writing poetry about a serious topic isn’t cathartic for me.”

Q: What were the easiest and hardest parts about writing this story?

A: “The easiest part was capturing all the different memories. I would write them in a notebook or record my ramblings on my phone if I remembered something and wasn’t able to write it down in that moment. I didn’t witness every part of his life, so I had to reach out to other people that were close to Bruce to give me specifics of what happened during situations that I wasn’t present for or moments where I only knew the details how Bruce described them. Between my own memories and the memories people shared with me, I was able to fill up an entire notebook.

The hardest part was organizing the book. The individual stories flowed, but the challenge was packaging them all into a proper narrative that wouldn’t leave readers confused. My editor and I went through four different drafts before we ultimately found a way to make the narrative flow as best as it could, and while four drafts may not be a lot in the grand scheme of things, it was an exhausting process.”

Q: What was your favorite part about writing this book?

A: “I loved reading all the different memories and stories to my husband, “Big Bruce”, and reliving those moments with him. Some of the stories he had witnessed firsthand, so it was fun remembering and laughing with him. But there were some memories that he was hearing for the first time because I hadn’t met him yet at that time, so being able to share some of the older stories about Bruce and myself that I hadn’t already shared was exciting.”

Q: How long did it take you to write this book?

A: “I started compiling memories when Bruce was first diagnosed and given four to six months to live. He was diagnosed in late July/early August 2020 and I was ready to start reaching out to editors in December.”

Q: What is your hope for people who read this story?

A: “I want people to realize that having a down syndrome brother, or a child in my parents’ case, wasn’t the end of the world. When David and I were children, we appreciated what Bruce had to offer because we were young and had no expectations. As adults, we celebrated him no matter what and were committed to him. Not only did we all survive, we flourished alongside one another - and so can anyone else in our situation as long as they have the right attitude and they make the decision to be okay.”

Q: You worked with Socialbooks.io to get this book off the ground. What were you originally looking for in a partner and how did you end up working with Socialbooks.io?

A: “When I first started, I watched the webinars and joined the chat rooms that Self Publishing offered, and I was assigned to one of their great coaches to help keep me on track. Through my coach I was able to find my editor, but finding someone who was great at strictly formatting was horrible and impossible. Every formatter I reached out to had some issue.

I found Socialbooks.io during one of my many searches for a formatter. I wanted a partner who knew things that I didn’t to help me accomplish publishing the memoir. I reached out to them and they were beyond responsive. They turned out to be an amazing team for me and they taught me so much about social media marketing and Amazon KDP. They were patient and savvy and all around great people to work with.”

Q: What is your advice to new parents and siblings welcoming a down syndrome child into the family?

A: “Get involved with every kind of support system available. As a kid, I didn’t know if there were groups out there that I could go to for support. We never went to family therapy or sought out professional assistance in that way so we always felt like we were on our own. Now, there are so many resources out there. Online groups, in-person groups, summer camps, social media pages, entire websites dedicated to understanding down syndrome. There is no longer any reason to think that you’re alone in your situation, and remember that down syndrome has become much more accepted so don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Want to get a copy of Lynne’s memoir to learn more about her life with Bruce? The Amazon link is available in our online Store. Go get your copy today! Available in print and ebook.

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